DR. Tarbox

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Friday, February 28, 2014

Think About It


A friend who had seen a blog of mine regarding shame and guilt responded by saying, “I have many regrets about which I neither feel guilt or shame. Yet, the regrets are at times, downright debilitating.” Wow! I had never thought about this, but you know he’s right. Regrets can take us down a very deep path, one that can either take us a long time to crawl out of, or one that we never return from.

Regret interestingly enough is related to shame and guilt, but it is most often associated with remorse. Regret can be about something we’ve done or something we haven’t done. The problem with either of these is that once it’s been done, it can’t be undone. It’s like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube. Once it’s been squeezed out, it’s over. The deed has been done, and there’s no going back.

Personally, I’ve tried to live my life without any regrets. I like to say that I’ve been 100% successful, but I haven’t. There are things that I’ve said, and done, which I can’t undo. But I press on. One of the things that I’ve learned about living this way is that it often means putting others first. For example visiting people, going places, or making that phone call is often done with the idea of what’s best and if I don’t do it, will I regret it?

In the end we can’t go back and relive yesterday. All we have is today and it’s up to us individually to make the choice to live without regret for today. Ironically, living without regret is always about now. We can’t go back and change anything nor can we go forward. But what we do today can mend the regrets of the past and prepare the way for our hopes for the future. Sadly, too many people get stuck in the regrets of yesterday and miss out on the joys that are theirs for today. Some regrets need repaired through forgiveness, (ourselves or others). Some just need to be let go of so we can move on. In either case, it’s a choice. Think about it.

1 comment:

Robin said...

So true written.. I have lived with guilt for many years but am getting better for letting things go. Thank you for all you write I have read everything you put here.. They help me alot..