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Friday, November 25, 2016

Think About It

Missing the Point
by Pastor B.J. Knefley

Have you ever just missed the point? I know I have. Sometimes it’s not hard to miss the point when we don’t have our eyes and ears open. A friend of mine shared a situation that they had recently experienced when another person had missed the point in something they were trying to say. How does that happen? It does when we become fixated on one thing while missing everything else.

A number of years ago I went to pick up my four-year-old granddaughter for the day. When I got to her house her mother, my daughter, said that she wasn’t going. Not only wasn’t she going, but she was also grounded to her room. It seems that she had cut the screen out of her window with a knife. I went into her bedroom to talk with her and to see if somehow I might redeem the situation. On the dresser I saw pieces of the screen that were cut into one-inch squares. As I talked to my granddaughter I asked what she was making. Through her sobs she said, “I was making firewood”. I quickly realized my daughter missed the point.

Behavior and motivation are not the same but the problem is we often only see the behavior. If we don’t understand what drives the behavior we will more than likely miss the point. So how do we do that? I’m glad you asked because that’s exactly what we have to learn to do, ask the question. We often miss the point because we assume we already know the motivation, but we can be a thousand degrees off.

In the case of my granddaughter, her behavior was wrong, but it was being fueled by creativity and imagination. On one hand you need to deal with the behavior while encouraging the creativity. The only way to do that is to get to the point and deal with the situation on that level.

The Apostle James said, “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak…” (James 1:19). Sounds like good advice. Think about it.


Anonymous said...

hummm is that like when my niece cut her sisters bangs with the scissors? it was bad she did it but thinking she was a salon girl.. lmao

Anonymous said...

Great nugget of knowledge Bernie, I never got upset when my little grandson & grandaughter cut each other's hair, like you said, they were only being creatime & just saving their Mom money